Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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