Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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