Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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