Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A bitchslap is in order.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
