why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
