i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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