please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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