i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
