She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
