how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
