you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize