Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I skipped work to stalk him.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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