You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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