all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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