Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
