Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
