Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
