She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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