Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
