What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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