u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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