i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
