tell your sister to shave her snatch
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
