I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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