Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
