She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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