oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
