So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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