yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
