he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
