3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
