I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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