glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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