Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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