White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
