hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
