arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
