I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
