What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
True strength comes from lack of pants
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
