...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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