Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she looked like the before picture.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
