idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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