made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
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