i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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