I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
