with your own penis?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
