dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
