We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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