So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
