Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
