Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
