I smell stomach acid.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
