i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
