Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
