remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
