I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
