You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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