real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
