No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
