There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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