He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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