Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Brb crying the tears of my youth
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
