break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
