OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I know her cup size but not her name....
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
