i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
