She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
operation have a gay friend backfired
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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