So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dick very happy bro
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
