I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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