the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
